Saturday, January 9, 2010 @ 10:54 AM
10th Jan 2010It's 3am right now. You are in malaysia, and i just got home. How was your day? Don't think it's good. My day? tuition...mahjong....went dinner with my mum and fiona, and went to keppel bay to chill. All the way till 2.30am. We quarrelled. Whose fault? Both i suppose?
Perhaps we both have something in common. We are too sensitive. On friday, you told me that jie lun asked you out to malaysia. You indeed didn't ask me join. But you gave me such feeling that you really hope to join. Don't ask me why, but i sensed it. Maybe it's because you told me that you are tired of explaining to jie lun about my absence. Since then(friday afternoon), you don't sounds good. Are you disappointed about my absence? You said that you need to explain about my absence again when you meet karen and jie lun at night. You are tired of it. So later yesterday, i decided to drop karen an sms. I did consider about sending her the message. But in the end i did. I just wanna give a more detailed explanation so that they wouldn't bother you further next time. I just explained to her about my absence and apologised. But, some how...i don't know why, my message was delivered wrongly. They thought you are not going as well. Is either karen got my message wrongly, or jie lun got karen's message wrongly. Haiz, wanted to help, but created a bigger problem instead. For this, i am sincerely sorry. And since this morning, you know about this issue, your mood got worse. You admitted that you are in bad mood, but claim that it's because of headache. But to me, i doubt it's as simple as that. I don't know what is the real reason behind, only you know.
Since morning, you have been replying me with one or two word reply. That's ok, i know you are in bad mood. But what is the worse thing? you kept sending message like "ya, ok, haiz" when i didn't ask you anything. You just keep sending and sending. When i ask you why, you said nothing. After that, you continue sending the same message. What for? This really irrates me. You want, you share your problem with me. You don't feel like sharing, then don't keep "ya,ok,haiz" to me! Something i that irrates me is you have nothing to talk to me but you keep sending "ya,ok,haiz" . Really irrating. I kept my cool, trying to ignore all these message.
Not long after i reached keppel bay, we got into arguement. You miss call me. when i return call, you said you are in the car, not convenient to talk. Then what for you call me in the first place? Why can't you wait patiently for my reply? Yes, it was my fault that i said you gave me this weekend unwillingly. You did gave it to me willingly at first, but when jie lun asked you to go malaysia, i bet you did hope i can make it. But you said that thought did not cross your mind. Well, i don't know, because only you know what you think. I am just telling you how i FEEL.
But seriously, if this afternoon till evening, you have not irrated me with "ya,ok,haiz" messages, i would not have started a quarrel with you at night. I did try to talk to you nicely in the afternoon, trying to keep my cool. I tried asking how's your headache......how come you haiz......this and that. But all you replied was "nothing." "ya headache". Is this what you consider your normal reply? And we didn't say much....and you start asking "so now you are saying it's my fault? ". Oh man! come on! i talked to you nicely, and you sent me such message. so now who is the one wanting to start a quarrel? I really tried to talk to you nicely...but my patience has limit too......
You asked me what you should do, i don't know. I don't know what i should to do too. You are never satisfied. You just want constant happiness.Never ending happiness and memories. Perhaps this time i am really too sensitive.But seriously you sounded unhappy to me. I don't know what's the reasons behind. But i'm just sorry.
Now i know why i always give you an answer: "we can't predict future; let fate decide if we should be together. After all, it's the memories that counts." It's because.....we quarrel quite often. It gave me a feeling that our relationship is rocking.... What if, we quarrel that often even after our marriage? But out quarrel always peace within few days. hahaha...or even hours! We just need some time to cool down and think. After that, we will start to apologise. hahaha....Just like now. You're just messaged me...hahaha...you're back from malaysia. You apologied. So did i. hahaa......it's peace again....whahaha. But this time, it's really more to my fault. I admit it. I am just too sensitive. Alright...so much so as for now, i shall change into the sweet mood again...hahah...love you always, darling.
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