Wednesday, January 13, 2010 @ 9:33 AM
14th Jan 2010 =(It 1.34am in the morning, i am still working with my report. You had lesson till 12pm and went window shopping alone. At about 2pm, you was told that your sister fainted in school and you rushed home. Is it because of this that makes you not in a good mood? or am i too sensitive? actually you are in a good mood? I don't know. But you don't sounds like you are in the right mood. hahhaa.....perhaps because all the "dear" are missing in the text? Never even drop me a good night message before you turn in? hahhaa...But you already sounded different before your sis fainted. So i think your sis is not the main reason. I am. Hahaha...upset that i am not with you for window shopping? or is it because i mention about not meeting you for dinner on wed, willl meet you on thur instead? haiz, there are so many questions marks in me through out the day. But i didn't ask you for the reason. Because i know you will say "nothing, i am not in bad mood". hahaha......perhaps guys has mood swing too? So what i did was "hahaa..." all the way throughout the sms...1st, to make the message sounds more lively, 2nd, to make myself happier and control my temper. Just imagine, 2 of us keep sending 1 or 2 words reply. What will be the outcome? You will keep sending me meaningless message like "ok" for no reason, and i'll get irrated, and we will argue. Like this afternoon, you told me that our dinner on thur is cancelled, but didn't bother to tell me why. Are you waiting for me to ask you for the reason? Can't you just talk nicely? Did i do/say something wrong? hahaha....so i took a step back first. Let you be. When you find back your mood, you will take as usual.
I do sound low/no mood/emo at times, but not as often as you do ya? And i have a reason, most of the time its because i am tired, because we quarrelled or monthly mood swing, but you? same reason as mine? or is there reasons that i don't know? I told myself a few days back. If you were to give me short reply, 1 word reply, give me the feeling that you are not in the right mood, i'll just step back, i will not loss my cool. I'll give you time to tune back to the right mood. After all, it's the girlfriend's job to cheer her boyfriend up. Perhaps at times, i have made mistakes without noticing it. Do forgive me.
Sometimes i just think i am a failure. Don't know what my boyfriend is thinking/feeling. Am i? Relationship can be sweet, but it can also be bitter and tiring at times. That is why people always say relationship is complicated. I really wish to show you this blog, let you know what i actually thinks and feels. Because at times, i am just forcing myself to give replies that i don't agree. For a simple reason, i want to prevent arguments. But i can't shows this to you, because this is the only place that allows me to jot down my true feelings. When i first started this blog, i told myself. This can only be shown to you, after we break up. This shall be the last gift from me, as a girlfriend. I hope, this day will never come.
0 comments
