Tuesday, May 11, 2010 @ 5:09 AM
11th May 2010It has been quite awhile since i last blogged. Nowadays, because of work, we meet only on sat and sunday most of the time. This is something i prefer. we didn't quarrel for 2 weeks...i believe mainly because our communication cut down. When i am at work, i didn't text you. To tell you frankly, i am currently doing nothing at work. All i did is to sleep, play, own time own target. But i told you i am having lesson. If i don't tell you that, you will be texting me every min every seconds. Sometimes, i just feel that we are running out of topic to talk and you "squeezed" our topic for the sake of talking.Why must we text one another every min every seconds? At times i really find it quite irratating..no topic, then don't talk for a while la...why must force topic out to talk? I am starting to love my job. Because the moment i step in, i can have some "free time" alone to talk to my friends and concentrate on things i want to do. You should know by now, when i do things, i like to concentrate fully. When i am with someone, i would like to give him/her my fullest attention. i know you are feeling angry now, but this is what i am thinking.
Yesterday we chatted happily all the way from morning till afternoon, after my check up. You popped a question "why not we go genting on 1st anniversary?" i didn't give you a confirmation and you changed your attitude although u did say never mind about the trip. Reason being? Because my BMT date is out. 8th july. which means, 2 weeks confinement, will falls on your birthday, our 1st anniversary will falls on 4th week. In another words, we can't celebrate both occasion together. I didn't tell you about this all the way until last night, i can't stand your attitude and we quarrel broke out. I am just like adding oil to fire. But i was thinking, i rather "kill" you with a stab than stabbing you bit by bit. I didn't tell you earlier because i don't want you to be disappoint for too long. If i tell you in june, you will only be unhappy for a month. if i tell you now, you will be unhappy for 2 months. That's the reason. I can tell you, keeping this to myself is not easy at all.
Because of genting issue, making you unhappy, you start digging out other stuff. 1st, mother's day dinner..for no reason, you tell me next time if know eating spice don't ask you along. The dinner has already past. why dig out? So you mean because you don't eat spices, everyone have to suit you? and you say my family is pitying you by pushing all the non spicy food to you. I can tell you, they are just being courteous. You are really thinking too much,sensitive and paranoid. I really don't know how you are going to deal with your client in future if you remain so narrow minded. 2nd thing, about chalet this coming weekend. I remember telling you i will most likely go stay over for a night because saturday morning i got tuition and friday after work i want to have a good rest. and also most important reason, sat and sun i wouldn't be at home. If i don't go home, i got to wait till next friday. you agreed. But last night, you said i didn't tell you i am only going for 1 night..you said i only tell you last week. Even if i only tell you last week, you agreed that you will go alone too! you didn't ask anything or say i must go...but why now you change the way you speaks again! Watever it is, you said that every friday will allow me to go home for dinner. Now?
It's very simple dear...if you notice,when your mood is good, whatever i say you will agree. when your mood is bad, whatever i say, you sure will disagree and find something to quarrel. You just don't know how to draw a line between matters. I can do it, why can't you? Just like sunday. I guess it's because you are too bored at home or too stress over the work your sir gave you. After tuition, your reply to me is like we just quarrelled, keep questioning me why i reply so slowly. When i was heading towards vivo with my family for mother's day celebration, you sms me saying you might reach at 8pm instead of 7pm. Next message, you said you might not be coming, will let me know again. hahaha! the first thing that comes to my mind is that you definately wun be late and definately will be there. cause you are not someone that will let everyone wait for you and back up last min. even if you does, i wun mind at all. At most i tell them that you are busy with your school work. If i am not wrong, you are just speaking out of fraustration. And seriously dear. I hate that. Please speak and do it. Don speak and don't dare to do it. Just like yesterday night we quarrelled and you say don't blame you for being angry or whatsoever, give me 10mins to apologise this and that. hahaha...i know less than 10mins you will call me. You wun stick to your words.
Next, your pride. This is something i dislike about you too. You are having too much pride in yourself. Just like your sir, let you choose to do proposal or tear paper. You choose to do proposal because you don't want them to look you down. But did you put in the effort to prove youself? Sunday, i whole day at home, you didn't do much. Now, you can't hand up and start complaining you feel stress. If you wanna prove yourself to others, then put in the effort! You want people to respeat you, prove that you have the abilities! Don't just want pride and no effort is put in.. you will not see result!
This entry definately makes you angry. But, dear....this is things that i don't dare to share with you. Because you are not very open for negative comments.
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